Khamoshiyan (2015) Review!!

Synopsis – An erotic love triangle revolving around a writer adrift in the icy slopes of Kashmir where he discovers a woman with a strange, silent past.

My Take – Looks like the very elegant copy cats “the Bhatts” have a winner in hands!! No not in a good sense! By serving us a horror film so bad it makes the current position holder Alone (Read my review here) look like a brilliant work of art. The film has silenced me into a kind of horrific disbelief that the makers would dish out such garbage. Its just January, How long is it going to be before someone attempts another reworking on horror flicks? The story follows one-book wonder Kabir (Ali Fazal) shaken by his bitter breakup, ventures into the deep, desolate woods of Kashmir (It’s actually South Africa) seeking inspiration for his next novel. He lands in a secluded redbrick manor & is instantly drawn to the manor’s sexy lady, manager and housekeeper Meera (Sapna Pabbi). Also living there is her bed ridden husband Jaidev (Gurmeet Chaudhary). Kabir falls for the mysterious charm and captivating sensuality of Meera even though strange things happen in the hotel, like falling keys, a deviant photograph doing a vanishing act, or a coquettish fireplace alighting or cooling down surreptitiously. The sexual tension between Meera and Kabir is consummated with a detailed lip-lock session.

The mystery of Meera’s husband Jaidev is unraveled with an interesting ‘twist’. I’m not too sure what the Bhatts (brothers Mahesh and Mukesh and their protege Vikram) mean to achieve by mocking the melody from the film “Mahal” in this way. Whatever their motive, the new version of Aayega aanewala only serves to remind us how far the ghost drama has strayed from its original purpose of creating a world where the tenable and attainable cross one & another world in pursuit of love and fulfillment. This is the kind of film in which a pretty girl goes off with a stranger without a qualm. Into a house which has no one else in it. And agrees to have a drink with him. What kind of girl does that? The girl who is just about to be terrorized, that’s who. All the better for her to be comforted by a handsome stranger, while her husband lurks mysteriously within. Curious events ascertain that the site is haunted. But the film is so consumed by its cheesy scares-sex-scares-sex pattern, the upshot is tacky and unintentionally hilarious. At one point, the exasperated ghoul actually has to explain the range of its supernatural mumbo jumbo to protagonists. Seriously!! The demonic presence is one of the most juvenile representations of evil I’ve witnessed in a while. As if it’s not humiliating enough that no one takes you seriously, the wretched thing has to resort to form shifting tactics that render it more mutant than monster. The most hilarious moment is to see the ghost delete text from the lead protagonist’s laptop! Why not use a short cut! LOL!

Scenic locales, half-decent actors and a lilting soundtrack keep the hocus pocus tolerable till interval point. But post interval it all collapses into a heap of insanity, something Sajid Khan would direct! The actors are saddled with a flimsy script. Ali Fazal is a talented lad, no doubts! But while he approaches his role in all sincerity, it is obvious that he is well out of his comfort zone. Sapna Pabbi looks sexy & does what she has to do – lay with the men & then whimper or scream in her free time, oh she even gets to talk like a man too! TV star – film debutant Gurmeet Choudhary definitely has a screen presence. But is clearly wasted in a very brief role. One wishes he had chosen a script that respected the audiences’ intelligence and tolerance level for his film debut! This so called “erotic thriller” makes you shiver in embarrassment for all the ghosts and spirits who are so royally snubbed and insulted by such travesties of terror *face palm*! Why Vikram Bhatt & Mahesh Bhatt, who has made some of the most path-breaking films in recent times would choose to back something so insanely lazy is beyond comprehension. On the whole ‘Khamoshiyan’ is a hopeless mess of a supernatural film which wastes the talents of its cast by forcing them into hilarious unintentional one liners. This film deserves our Khamoshi (silence)!