Home invasion and zombie apocalypse are some of the topics which have intrigued writers all over the world. Hence, the excessive number of books, movies and TV shows based on such horrifying scenarios are doing so well. With another Walking Dead season just coming to a close and the release of the third installment of The Purge films aka Election Year just a few months away from release, during a discussion on a forum someone raised the question – How would you protect your home against scenarios from The Purge, The Walking Dead, or any other suspenseful movie/show?. A few years ago that would have been an interesting topic to discuss at a stake out party or a friendly debate, but considering the current world status which is filled with mistrust, hatred, intolerance, chemical warfare, experimentation, general misconduct and easy access to almost anything, this once fictional scenario seems more like a possibility now. Generally I would just log on to Simplisafe.com, a site which offers some of the best security options imaginable, to beef up my home security, plus when you think of it today’s technology should work for us, right? Why “get physical” if you can just zap a bad guy with a stun gun? However how useful your firearm or pepper spray may be, its better to be prepared for all kinds of doom. The following tips and and techniques will help you stave off all manner of attacks whether alive or undead, whenever the situation actually arrives (hopefully never).

1) Get the heavy door in – I know this sounds ridiculous, but do you really think our well crafted wooden doors with their little designs are going to hold up when the attacks begin. Attackers of all kinds (OK not the serial killer types) always start their first assault from the front door. How long do you think it will hold up a herd of zombies or a simple shot gun round? Well, one of the simplest ways to combat them is to retrofit your house with stainless-steel doors. Affordable and impenetrable, steel doors can be a living or a dead dude’s worst enemy. I know its gonna be hard task opening and closing them, but remember the ones trying to get in your house feel the same. Best of all, any dents or dings caused by your heathen invaders can be pulled and puttied with an auto-body repair kit. For added security, forgo sidelights or transoms and install triple-point locks. Zombies frigging’ hate triple-point locks.

2) Baby proof those windows – This is probably something which many people with kids now days prefer in order to avoid accidents or just to avoid a burglar from getting in. In the other scenario, people who are into zombie movies especially know the importance of wrought-iron security bars rather than those unguarded single-pane windows. If you don’t have kids around, why not just nail a couple of plywood, just in case. And while your at it why not plant a thorny bush around the windows. Not only do these shrubs serve as an aesthetically pleasing deterrent, they also can cause harm to the uninvited coming inside.

3) Lets get chopping – Choose from cutlery, pots and pans (a pot cover worn on the hand will add zing to any palm strike!), cutting boards or piping-hot coffee. A metal soup can, jar or ceramic mug can be struck into the temples or face, swung back into a groin or used to bust a collarbone and disable its adjoining arm. And what about those vast range of kitchen knives you got? Carving and Slicing Knives, Chef’s Knives, Bread Knives, Cleavers, Tomato Knives, Utility Knives and yes a Butter Knife too. Sharp or not, they are probably the best objects in the kitchen to fight with plus you have to agree it looks awesome when you do that.

4) Everyday tools to the rescue – Agreed, Golf clubs, broomsticks and wine bottles, etc., can make great self-defense weapons because they can be thrust into vulnerable areas or used to strike (and bust) knees, hands or the head during intense self-defense moves. But what about balls pens? or a stuffed up pillow or cushions? or a simple vase? This are not your everyday weapons, plus this is something which the intruder (with an alive brain) may not think of immediately. For example a ballpoint pen can become a deadly weapon for self-defense moves when thrust into a life-and-death encounter. While, a pillowcase containing a hard-hitting object — a brass candlestick, giant ashtray, your defunct toaster — could leave a lasting impression on someones face.

5) The unknown weapons of mass destruction – As Woody Harrelson‘s gun-toting Tallahassee taught us in the 2009 blockbuster Zombieland, a sharp set of hedge clippers can lop a zombie’s head off, no problem. But there are plenty of other zombie-zapping alternatives right in your workshop or garage. As a rule of thumb, the best way to kill a zombie is to destroy its brain. So your best line of defense is a blunt tool equipped with a long handle, such as an ax or a tire iron. The latter is especially helpful, since it can also be jabbed into the zombie’s eye socket, gouging its brain. Shovels serve a dual purpose as a blunt weapon and a means of properly burying dead zombies once they’ve (finally) met their maker.

6) Fencing it up – Why not just put up a random fence in the beginning of the lawn and make it difficult for anyone to enter. If you can’t afford an electric fence, consider building a tough, tall chain-link, wrought-iron, or cinder block version around your property. The local zoning board might take offense, but, seriously, man—this is a zombie invasion! Who cares about zoning? Plus by any chance someone or something manages to get stuck in it, you have a good chance of picking them out more easily.

7) Save some for later – I know this is pretty obvious, and most importantly it may not work for long, but its always best to stock some food for the future. You don’t want be dragging outside and eating wild animals like the characters in the Walking Dead do, for example in an episode Daryl (played by Norman Reedus) eats up a snake! So best to stock up some nonperishable food, bottled water, and first-aid supplies as you may not know how long this will whole attack is going to last.

8) Bonus tip – An often mistake our characters in our horror movies do is they move around alone! I am not saying take your family or friends to the washroom or hold their hands whenever you cross from room to room, instead remember their is always strength in numbers! During an attack, just kill the person in the group who suggests that you split up. Move around with the guy or girl you are certain will have your back! Not the most greedy person in the group, he/she will eventually get you killed, or the screaming hysterical girl because she will be the one to distract everyone when there really is danger or the guy who makes hilarious jokes about dying first. Also make sure your friend is ready to do whats needed to be done or else your friend is dead weight. And also make sure your not with the companion who has suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood or brains, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as soon as possible!  Unless you are in the company of Scooby Doo & the meddling kids, the attack coming at you is most likely real.

Just keep the above stuff in mind and you may just get through as long as the characters in a Zombie movie or TV show survives..oh wait thats a really bad example.