The Farewell (2019) Review!!!

Synopsis – A Chinese family discovers their grandmother has only a short while left to live and decide to keep her in the dark, scheduling a wedding to gather before she dies.

My Take – This sophomore feature film effort from Asian-American director Lulu Wang has been in news, right from its first screening in the U.S. Dramatic Competition section at the 2019 Sundance Film Festival. And rightfully so, as it dives into heavyhearted subjects like death and familial bonds through the guise of cultural conflict never seen on screen before.

Based on a fictionalized account of a story based on her own experiences with her Chinese family, which was first documented as a segment on radio program This American Life in 2016, with director Wang’s avatar, played here by rapper and actress Awkwafina, in her first dramatic lead role, grappling with the contradictions that live inside and around her: East and West, individual and part of a family, insider and outsider. And the result is a finely tuned drama that finds humor in the everyday absurdity that comes from belonging to one’s family.

Despite its clear target audience, the fact that it has been written in such a way that people of other backgrounds are able to enjoy it too is what impressed me most here. Made with the necessary narrative and directorial guile to get Academy nominations in its sights, and with dialogue in both English and Mandarin Chinese, the film presses all the right buttons by being a heart-warming tale about cultural dislocation.

As well as managing very well to blend its comedy with drama in a mixture that never feels unbalanced. Making it an outstanding, quietly devastating, deeply personal story, and the one that’s destined to put director Wang firmly on the map, thanks to its masterful directing, acting and story. This is truly one of the year’s best films.

Based on an actual lie the story follows Billi Wang (Awkwafina), an artistically-minded a Chinese-born New Yorker, struggling to launch a writing career, who has also just been turned down for her dream fellowship. Living in an apartment where she is barely able to pay rent, Billi often goes back to her parent’s house especially to do her laundry, knowing well enough that she’ll have to endure the parental comments from both her father, Haiyan (Tzi Ma), and mother, Lu Jian (Diana Lin), while under the same roof.

It is during one of these visits when her mother informs her about the sudden wedding announcement of her cousin, Hao Hao (Chen Han) to Aiko (Aoi Mizuhara), his Japanese girlfriend, back in Changchun, China. Realizing that something isn’t right, Billi pressurizes her parents, who quickly confess to the reason of their visit being the terminal state of her grandmother aka Nai Nai (Zhao Shuzhen), to whom Billi has remained close to despite her limited Chinese vocabulary.

To make matters worse, Nai Nai has no clue about her condition as her younger sister (Lu Hong) and Haiyan’s older brother, Haibi (Jiang Yongbo), have chosen to stick to their culture norm of hiding such information as they believe it’s the fear of death that kills you. Hence the wedding is being hastily arranged so the family has an excuse to come together and pay respects to the dying matriarch in a joyful setting. Nevertheless, the burden of this lie is heavy leading to conflicts, confusions and misunderstandings.

Right from the first scene it is obvious that Lulu Wang has a vision to direct this tragically heartfelt story in a way not only Chinese families, but any other family especially Asian, can relate to. Personally I too have firsthand experience how my family kept secrets from certain relatives, with the supposed notion to protect them. Nearly everyone has at least once been dropped into an awkward family situation; even in a loving and healthy family, just being around your relatives can produce a jarring sense of dislocation.

None of us are exactly the people we were when we were children, but the behaviors we fall into when we’re around family can feel alien to our adult selves. It’s funny, and a little painful, for us to recall those moments as the characters here do. Here, the film captures that pull between two cultures that immigrants feel in how they view themselves and where they belong in the world.

It’s not just the specificity of Billi’s story that makes the film so compelling, it’s in the nuances, authenticity and care of the immigrant experience as written and directed by Lulu Wang. The guilt felt and displayed by Billi’s father and her uncle at not being there for their mother because they both live overseas is something that will resonate with everyone separated from their family by distance.

Ditto for the many dinner scenes in which those returning from overseas and those who stayed have passive aggressive arguments over which country is superior are hilarious because it’s oh-so-familiar.

However, the most interesting question about this film is how you would deal with a situation such as the one portrayed in this film if someone close to you were concerned and how you would like to be treated if you were in a similar situation yourself.

The film never answers this question and it shouldn’t, and leaves it for the viewer to decide that, while showing how differently Western and Eastern cultures approach such a scenario. Despite how personal the story and the characters may feel, thankfully, the film never dips into sentimental overload or cultural preaching or manipulative melodrama, but instead approaches most of the sequences with subtle humor. Which works very well and includes drunk war veterans declaring their romantic feelings, hilarious karaoke performances during the wedding and several running jokes in form of the careless deaf housemate and the disconnected overweight grandson.

Yes, the film can feel careful and over-scripted, indicating director Lulu Wang’s personal instinct to protect the characters and not delve too deeply into harsh truths. But this decision feels as loving as the film does. However some may find hindrance to how much of the film is in Chinese and subtitled, with certain traditions taking place in graveyards, and at wedding banquet halls, that are not explained for the non-Chinese viewer, nevertheless we’re left to experience them alongside a similarly out-of-place Billi, picking up on what’s going on through contextual clues.

Most importantly, the film is never condescending or mocking, a line that could’ve easily been crossed in the wrong hands.

That said, the ensemble cast’s acting performances are terrific. With the most surprising comes from the hilarious, touching and grounded performance of Zhao Shuzhen as Nai Nai, in what apparently is her first ever on screen appearance. Her scenes with Billi are the true heart and soul of the film.

Awkwafina too gives wonderful and solemn performance that feels completely out of her comfort zone. Here, she flashes a talent that no one saw coming in the form of textured performance worthy of awards consideration. In supporting roles, Tzi Ma, Diana Lin, Lu Hong, Jiang Yongbo, Chen Han, Zhang Jing, Aoi Mizuhara and Yang Xuejian are also very effective. On the whole, ‘The Farewell’ is an appealing and accessible family comedy drama that is masterfully made with strength and heart.