Synopsis – A story of a five girl who come to gain stardom in the fashion industry. What happens next when she is surrounded by obstacles?

My Take – Once upon a time a Madhur Bhandarkar film meant something to me. An excellent mixture of Bollywood masala with harsh realism is something I enjoy in Indian movies. Not to forget the strong female leads & their compelling performances backing the film. Films like Chandni Bar, Fashion, Satta, Page 3, Corporate & Traffic Signal (the latter two were unfairly written off) were perfect examples of films which could shine on the resume of a good story teller. But like most directors, his successful run (critically at least) had to come to an end, & for director Bhandarkar that film was Jail (2009) starring Neil Nitin Mukesh, followed adult themed rom com Dil Toh Baccha Hai Ji (2011) & the mother of all atrocities – a film on the life of an actress called Heroine (2012) starring the ever gorgeous Kareena Kapoor. Since then there is not a single platform, webpage or film critic which has not cantankerously panned Madhur Bhandarkar for regurgitating the same wine in new bottles through his recent string of films. So much so that there are memes out on the Internet which describe the set pattern of Madhur’s plots. To top that, he has been ridiculed for using banal names for his films and everything in them, something which is too obvious to state. For example, a film on the life of an actress will be called Heroine or one on the corporate politics in big companies has to be called Corporate. For a man who gave us Aan – Men at work (clearly a pay check movie), Chandni Bar, Page 3 and to some extent even Fashion, he has come a long spiraling way where he has convoluted himself in his own ring of mediocrity. His latest film did bear the brunt of his failing popularity when he went out to cast the film or find producers for it. But then as for most veterans, and taking the liberty of calling him one, it needs one film where you push yourself beyond your comfort zone to get your mojo back, right? Well unfortunately this is not that film! Director Madhur Bhandarkar’s entire career has been built on what he claims to be a range of ‘women-centric’ films, with similar stories written under different titles. This film is no different. Five girls enter the big, bad city of Mumbai, become successful, encounter evil men and finally emerge from their experiences stronger. Bhandarkar seems to be telling his audience – look how depraved, morally corrupt these rich people are, and look what happens to innocent middle-class girls who want to make it big.

Whether it was the journalist in “Page 3”, the model in “Fashion” or the actress in “Heroine”, his protagonists always run into the most cliched villains and life experiences you could ever think of. The stories end up delivering a moral science lesson on the triumph of good over evil. This film seems to be composed of outtakes from a twenty four episode TV show season & all edited together to fit like a movie. Bhandarkar keeps this movie sanitized by adding the cheese factor to it, instead of the grittiness we are used to seeing in his earlier films. This is a diluted attempt in his female-centric and profession-analyzing cinema. But though miles ahead of ‘Heroine‘, it still lacks the searing and raw honesty of his better movies. The entertainment quotient is not much, but to his credit, the second half picks up, though the first half is slow and monotonous. The filmmaker and his writers have a challenge before them—taking up the back stories of five young girls and examining their present (besides the past) in some detail. The movie tries to look at real issues such as match-fixing, using besotted girlfriends as decoys for high gains, becoming used to a philandering rich and high-profile husband because of one’s status, and going up in life in a clean, hardworking way as well as in the ruthless, ambitious one. The story follows small-town schemer Mayuri (Ruhi Singh), rebellious Paroma (Satarupa Pyne), free-spirited Sharon (Kyra Dutt), naive Nandita (Akanksha Puri) and London based Pakistani Bollywood aspirant Nazneen (Avani Modi) who are selected as the ‘calendar girls’ for an industrialist’s (Suhel Seth) yearly calendar to be shot by ace photographer Timmy (Rohit Roy). Hence the ladies wear lip-gloss, itsy-bitsy bikinis, attitude and dream of fame, love and success. For the record, he does it with his trademark sense of ambiguous justice: where two of the lead characters accept their role in the system under twisted situations, another gets lucky and gets what she wanted. After all, they keep saying that this girl will go far about her throughout the film, which at first, you assume to be over-enthusiastic foreshadowing of a sinister fate—but no, thank Bhandarkar for not putting us through another rape scene like the awkward and unnecessary sex ones. Only one calendar girl, the ‘prettiest’ one, meets a somewhat happy ending, working as a “serious journalist” on television and married to her boss. The last girl dies. As for the plot twists, most were either predictable or cringe-worthy. The actual calendar-shooting process was depicted through a song of about five minutes after a round of fake, happy “Cheers!” beside a hotel swimming pool. The song ended along with the shoot, celebrated by a champagne money-shot on the camera lens. There’s also a lot of air-kissing and hugging throughout the film. And as a PR executive sums up the ‘glamour world’: If you don’t party, you won’t be visible – then how will this pretty face sell? The film has a surreal, slightly dated quality. Characters resembling other characters float in and out. The story resembles other Madhur Bhandarkar stories – a note from Page Three, a stroke of Fashion, far too much from Heroine. It’s a pity because this story could have broken new ground.

With glimpses of his original flair, Bhandarkar puts cricket enthusiasts, prostitutes, brokers, philanderers, builders and bewildered middle-class mata-pitas together. He has his trademark touches of glamour, pathos and personalities but lacks power-packed direction to hold this together. Instead, between scintillating skin, syrupy sympathy and sheer sloppiness, the film loses grip, bite and plot. Take this staple Bhandarkar fare. A supposedly realistic and sordid tale of five models. One gets embroiled in a sleazy IPL like match-fixing scam. Another one turns in to a high society escort to make her ends meet. Still another one uses social media effectively to get sundry Bollywood assignments. Girl no. 4 decides to be trophy wife of a philandering billionaire. Last one changes her profession to become a TV anchor covering Page 3 type news. Really after a point, it doesn’t matter if these girls happen to be calendar models or fashion ramp walkers or even page 3 regulars because they are more or less the same characters from the Madhur Bhandarkar formulaic world of cinema. Actually, this film could have passed off as a sequel to any of Bhandarkar’s previous efforts even though he chooses to name his films based on professions of the characters. Among the girls – Avani scores high, despite her girl-next-door ‘un-starry’ looks. Kyra is competent. Ruhi Singh, despite her accented Hindi, impresses as the calculating Mayuri. Akanksha Puri is okay, but Satarupa is too tepid. The men here are quickly scraped through, with no character deep enough to make an impact, hence Rohit Roy, Keith Sequeira, Vikram Sakhalkar & the actor who plays Inzamam are just alright. The only one who makes a quiet impact is Indraneil Sengupta (even though he has the least screen time) as the mentors one of the girls in the television anchoring world. On the whole, ‘Calendar Girls’ is another cliche filled dud from Madhur Bandharkar. There is no doubt regarding Bhandarkar’s abilities as a director, like Ram Gopal Verma (‘Satya’, ‘Company’—enough said). However, people must adapt, especially with a mass-oriented medium such as film. And it’s not as if there’s a paucity of issues in our country for a good filmmaker to pursue. Bhandarkar’s stories might have had their showtime, but they’re passe now and “Calendar Girls” is an example of a film-maker who has run out of ideas.

Director – Madhur Bhandarkar

Starring – Akanksha Puri, Avani Modi, Kyra Dutt

Rated – A

Run Time – 128 minutes