You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023) Review!!

Synopsis – It follows Stacey Friedman as she prepares for her bat mitzvah, but her plans comedically unravel and threaten to ruin the event.

My Take – Without a doubt, Adam Sandler‘s contract with Netflix has kept him busy over the past few years.

A deal which has mostly sprung out stinkers after stinkers with the occasional marvels appearing in the form of The Meyerowitz Stories (2017) and Hustle (2022), and found him being accused of putting out below par standard comedy vehicles mainly to keep his close friends and entourage employed. For his latest partnership vehicle with the streaming giant, Sandler takes it further by employing his actual family – both his real-life daughters and his wife, in main and supporting roles.

Sure, while some may cry nepotism, however, what’s more surprising is how this combination plays an important part in scoring a win for this delightful adaptation of Fiona Rosenbloom’s 2005 YA novel. Recalling recent middle-school classics such as Bo Burnham’s film Eighth Grade (2018) and the excellent Judy Blume adaption that came out earlier this year, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, this Sammi Cohen (Hulu’s Crush) directorial, working with a screenplay from Alison Peck (Netflix’s Work It), delivers a refreshing coming-of-age flick, that doesn’t do anything new exactly, yet nevertheless manages to execute its the familiar tropes very well.

Resulting in a fun, quirky teen comedy that has important messages about friendships. Most importantly, it’s actually really sweet to see the Sandler family interact together and because they are a real life family, the dynamics feel authentic and natural.

The story follows Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler), a young Jewish middle schooler, who lives with her parents, Danny (Adam Sandler) and Bree (Idina Menzel), and older sister, Ronnie (Sadie Sandler). Stacy is immensely excited about the approach of her bat mitzvah. Not because it’s a landmark coming of age process, but more for the sick after party she gets to throw after.

One she hopes to share with her longtime best friend Lydia Rodriguez Katz (Samantha Lorraine) and her crush, the shaggy-haired, soccer-playing heartthrob Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman). However, as her special day gets closer and closer, Stacy’s life begins to unravel and threatens to ruin the event, particularly due to her falling out with Lydia.

The plot is a simple coming of age story with a Jewish twist. Awkwardly injected into the script are life lessons about puberty, friendship and the value of forgiveness. It has your typical teenager film tropes such as mean girls, social awkwardness, having a spat with your friend, suffering an unrequited crush and dealing with peer pressures. But the writing shines in this film. It’s appropriate for a film of its kind, and it creates unique characters and draws believable connections between them.

While the story may be hyper-focused on many aspects of Judaism including, of course, the anxiety-fueled experience of preparing for a Bat Mitzvah, the film does endear itself to a broader audience with its relatable characters simply trying to manage their daily tween/young teen lives as they attempt to survive the awkward trudge towards adulthood in the age of social media.

There is also a sense of maturity to the tale of a young girl who is on the verge of becoming an insufferable teenager. The story gives Stacy a cool older sister who is the embodiment of ‘been there, done that’ and guides her through some important junctures without overwhelming her with advice. It makes us wish we had a sibling like that. The screenplay is subtle, playful, and satirical at times.

Here, director Cohen keeps the film moving along at a snappy comedic pace, but in allowing Stacy to grapple with such ugly emotions, it manages to be genuinely moving as well. The hi jinks and numerous zeitgeist-y references never quite make it into laugh-out-loud territory instead landing somewhere in the range of consistent, easygoing sweetness.

Performances wise, all the Sandlers ease into their roles with effortless charm. Sunny Sandler particularly is sensational. She’s charismatic, funny, and does a fantastic job as the lead. Stacy’s a flawed character, as we would expect from a coming of age film, but it is Sunny’s performance that makes her so relatable. As her best friend, Samantha Lorraine shares is captivating throughout. Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel are sweet as the parents. Sadie Sandler, has a smaller but scene-stealing role as Stacy’s older sister, Ronnie. His wife, Jackie Sandler, is also likable in a small part.

In other roles, Luis Guzmán, Millie Thorpe, Zaara Kuttemperoor, Dylan Hoffman, Dean Scott Vazquez, Dylan Chloe Dash, Ido Mosseri, Ivory Baker, Judd Goodstein, Kasey Bella Suarez, Miya Cech, and Sarah Sherman are good. On the whole, ‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ is a delightful coming of age film that is both funny and heartwarming.