Occasionally everything in the universe aligns and creates a work of art that transcends the medium and defies conventional attempts to describe its beauty. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, in which Nicolas Cage plays Nicolas Cage, is one of those works of art. As reported by THR, the much-talked-about film has finally secured a release date and will explode into theaters March 19, 2021. Lionsgate beat out a number of interested studios to nab the film, which will no doubt win every single Oscar and possibly a Nobel Prize.
As I mentioned, the film stars Cage as a fictional version of himself who is gunning for a role in an upcoming Quentin Tarantino film. I can only hope that Tarantino will also appear as himself, and that his involvement will lead to Cage being cast in an actual Tarantino film, because my god why hasn’t that happened yet. Cage’s character, saddled with mounting debt, agrees to a gig attending a Mexican billionaire’s birthday party, only to discover that the billionaire is actually a cartel boss who has kidnapped the daughter of a prominent presidential candidate. The CIA has no choice but to ask for Cage’s help in taking the man down.
It’s a fun premise to begin with, and the fact that Nicolas Cage is playing himself elevates it to a song sung by a choir of angels. I am vibrating with anticipation just thinking about this movie, which I will continue to do for the next 390 days or so until The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent finally bursts into theaters and I can throw all of my money at it.